Hey guys! Welcome back. I wanted to do another kind of serious post because this one really speaks to me. I hope you get something out of these rambles or at the very least I hope you enjoy it. As always feel free to share your thoughts below.
The one thing that is the hardest for me to let go is my feelings. Especially the bad ones. When someone hurts me it takes a long time for me to get over it. In fact, I’m not quite sure I have ever really gotten over someone hurting me. I tend to hold grudges more than I should. I don’t really have a knack for forgiving and forgetting. I can forgive sure, but I can’t forget. Or maybe I can I just refuse.
Through it all I remember things said. I remember promises that were made. I remember the lies I was fed. I remember being naive and thinking I had everything when in fact I had nothing. I remember all the stories I made up in my head as a child believing everything would one day magically work out.
I can’t forget the things that happened. I can’t forget the burdens and challenges of my childhood. I can’t forget the pain of broken relationships. However, I don’t want to remember them either. They aren’t really worth holding on to, but how is one to let go? How do you let go of the pain of the past?
Regardless of the good or bad, they are still my memories. They still made me the person that I am. I don’t truly regret these terrible things because I know that it led me here. All those trials gave me a voice. That is a voice I intend to use.
I am a private person when it comes to most things. I am not typically one who shares my opinions no matter how valid I think they are. I often keep to myself and it takes me a while to open up. But honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am beginning to become the person I want to be and I don’t plan on changing for anyone else.
I’m not good at forgetting. But maybe forgetting is the easy way out. Maybe that’s the way to not have to deal with anything. Maybe I’ve gone through all of this because I am the only person who could do it the way I did. It wasn’t perfect. It was a mess. I am a mess. But I am an imperfect person living in an imperfect world.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this. Please like it if you did. Don’t forget to follow before you leave if you have not already and I hope to see you next time!