Hey guys! Welcome back. Today I thought I would explore one of my fear-quite possibly my biggest fear-people. I don’t know if it is an irrational fear or not. I used to believe it was, but now I’m not too sure it is. So let’s discuss it and you guys let me know in the comments if you think it is irrational or not.
First of all, so many terrible things happen in the world. Forget ghosts and demons. People do some pretty awful things to other living creatures. And the rest of world just passes by afraid to speak out. Why? Because we are too worried about our own lives to realize that something is wrong and that we should do something about it. All of these bad things happen and no one tries to stop it. People are terrible no matter how you look at it. Sure there are good people with good qualities, but being a bystander is no better that doing the harm.
Also, trusting people is hard. One day someone is in your life and the next they may not be. Things are sometimes out of our control. It’s scary to get close to people because people leave and you get your heart broken.
I care so much about what other people think of me. I focus on my flaws more than my positive attributes and I let negativity win. It’s not healthy, I know. But that’s how I was raised. I was raised to believe I wasn’t good enough and that I shouldn’t even try. That is a hard thing to overcome.
I have ruined myself for a lot of people who totally weren’t worth it. I have trusted people that should not have been trusted. I gave up things for people who let me down in the end. I don’t think it was worth it. I don’t believe the time I spent was worth it. I don’t think those terrible feelings were worth it.
I’m afraid of doing and saying the wrong thing. I am afraid of embarrassing myself. I am afraid that I will be wrong and ridiculed. I am afraid that I’m not worth anything. I am afraid of people because I am afraid they see me the way I see myself. I am afraid they see me the flaws and the brokenness. I am nothing. And I’m afraid that’s what people see.
Thank you so much for reading! Do you think it is irrational? Do you think I am validated in my fears? Do you share the same fear? Let me know in the comments! Please like this if you enjoyed it. Don’t forget to follow before you leave if you have not already and I hope to see you next time!