I grew up in a very troubled home. I had two parents who were very rarely home, and when they were it was never good. I lived in fear of never knowing what was going to happen next. We moved several times when I was younger and each time was worse than the next. Though we finally settled and had one home, my parents did not stay. They both had their separate reasons, however, their absence affected us all the same.
I should be able to say I love my parents, but that is something that has always been difficult for me. There are so many scars and wounds that have not healed. Memories that will last a lifetime. However, one positive of my parents absence is my relationship with God grew stronger. If it weren’t for God, I wouldn’t be where I am today. He did raise me, and because of that I am the person I am.
If it had not been God who raised me, and instead been my flightful and abusive parents, I don’t think I would have made it out. I learned a few years after leaving home that it was God who kept them away. I needed to be in this world and I needed them to be my parents, but God needed to be the one who raised me. Because of that I am able to see all of the amazing things in the world. I am able to go to college and make an impact. Because I didn’t let my parents get the best of me, I am able to offer so much to the world.
I was always at peace when I was growing up. I was afraid, but I knew no matter what happened it would never be anything I couldn’t handle. When I was younger I felt like there was a wall holding me back from my relationship with God. I was afraid there was something blocking me from that protection. However, as I got older I was able to see that it was never a wall. It was God protecting me. I may have gone through terrible things, but God always protected me from whatever it was. Whether it was my mother’s terrible rage or the emotional abuse I endured, I was always safe and comforted.
Through all the years of my childhood, I never felt alone. Even when my parents were gone and I had to take care of myself, I knew I wasn’t alone. When I would talk, I talked to God. He always kept me strong when I was weak. He gave me courage to fight when I wanted to give up. Most importantly, God gave me a reason to live when I wanted to die. When I was most scared in life, I knew that I had God in my heart. With that, I managed to survive what could have killed me otherwise.
It took me a long time to come to terms with the way my life turned out. It took me years to understand why my parents did what they did. But I know now that God never left my side and never let me suffer alone. I do believe that I was raised by God. I am not perfect and I don’t deserve to be blessed the way I have been. But because God was with me, I never stopped fighting. That is why I am here today. I suffered through my childhood so I could live to tell the story and hopefully guide people to the love I know. I was raised by God and I am thankful for every moment.