Here is how {0} got me through a breakup

If you’re reading this, you know exactly what a breakup can do.  But first, you may be asking yourself why {0} is in the title of this post.  Well, in programming, {0} is used as a placeholder for a value. It’s not one thing that got me through a breakup but several things, and these things are subject to change for everyone when experiencing the heaviness of a breakup. Generally, breakups, ugh, we don’t eagerly rush into the experience.  However, when it arrives, it makes its presence known. It’s a slow, ache that doesn’t seem to have any relief unless you take a nap, and even the nap can produce dreams that remind you of what you feel is the worst moment of your life.

{0} = Prayer + Faith

Rest assured that this pain, this sword piercing the tender parts of your heart, is temporary. In those moments, my strength was gathered via lots of prayer.  Psalm 18:2 was on repeat from my lips. “The Lord is my protector; he is my strong fortress.  My God is my protection, and with Him I am safe. He protects me like a shield; he defends me and keeps me safe.”  This verse reminded me that I was protected through that healing portion of my life.  It reminded me that my strength, my joy, and my restoration is held within a power greater than myself.  So, that breakup and those tears were only cleansing and brighter days lay ahead. Prayer and faith go hand in hand.  Faith to believe that there is greater and that joy and peace, no matter what is experienced, is obtainable. Use prayer as the relationship that you always wanted.  It can never be taken away from you.

{0} = Music

Another lifesaver when healing from a breakup is music. Listen, music will have you crying and bopping your head all at the same time.  The songs that spoke loudest to me were Beyonce, yes, the queen, yessss, and Byron Cage.

There’s an inner fighter in me that always has the desire to get back up no matter what the occasion.  And Beyonce’s “Best Thing I Never Had” was speaking life and allowed me to fight back for myself, even if the other person never knew that I was jabbing.  Standing in the shower with a bruised heart and lack of energy, I belted out the lyrics: “Oh, you turned out to be the best thing I never had. Oh, best thing you never had.”

As you can tell, faith is my foundation so Byron Cage’s “Broken But Healed” would find its way into my dark spaces to produce light. Let this marinate in your core:  “God can heal, He can deliver.  He can mend your brokenness. He has a miracle to fit your needs. Once you trust Him, you will receive.”  The repeat on this was massive.  If it was on vinyl, my needle would have broken.  

***As a bonus, Lauren Daigle’s Look Up Child is great for the soul during this time and any others. You’re welcome.***

{0} = Writing

My, oh, my the things that you can express via writing that you can’t always express to another is purely cathartic.  Between writing and Starbucks, I don’t know which one has saved more lives. Ha!

Writing is the soul dump via pen, pencil, crayon, or electronic device that allows me to pour out the good, the bad, and the rollercoaster of emotions.  Yes, a breakup takes you through a plethora of emotions. Many times I found myself just wanting to lay in bed and sleep through each day. It took a lot of strength to remind myself that healing takes time and it’s okay to not feel good one moment and better the next.  

The goal is not to stay in the dark place.  The goal is to see that there’s light, healing, and wholeness, even if you may not see it now.  This is the beauty of not totally relying on the heart to lead the way but to have the mind present for support as well when it gets cloudy.

Keep reminders visible such as post it notes that point you toward the light and the positive.  Take care of and be gentle with yourself. Healing takes time. Process it all in a healthy manner.  Whatever your placeholder {0} is, again, know that this is temporary and you can get through this. Make sure your {0} is productive, healing, and forgiving of yourself and others.  And most importantly, remember your wholeness is within you, anyone else is only a complement to your greatness.

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