Hey guys! Welcome back. I had a couple of people ask me talk about anxiety and what inspires me, so I decided to combine them into one post because for me, it is all connected. It took a long time for me to grow into the person I am. At times, it still isn’t easy. But I have learned certain things throughout my life that help me in the dark times, as well as in the good times. It has taken me many years to come to terms with the person I am. Because of that I have made some mistakes along the way. I have often taken the easy way out. I haven’t challenged myself or tried to do anything I wasn’t sure would work out.
So I wanted to talk about how all that changed. From depression to anxiety to human. I am going to talk about all of it. I hope that if you are dealing with anxiety, depression, or any other toxic feeling, that this will inspire you and help you see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It may be storming now, but the rainbow is not far from sight.
Growing up, my childhood was anything short of perfect. It was a very dark period in my life. The older I got, the worse it got. I was depressed for many years and remained that way even when I started college. I suffered from depressive episodes and isolated myself from everyone. I started going to therapy during my Freshman year, but once I changed schools I stopped going. It just wasn’t the same here. I didn’t feel like it was helping anymore. I really just wanted to move on with my life, but I felt like I was stuck in the past. It was extremely difficult.
While I was working through the depression, I started my blog. It helped me because it showed me that no matter what had happened in the past, I still have a voice and I can still use it for good. So I just kept writing. Then my life changed when I realized that people were actually reading what I was writing. People were being affected by my words. That inspired me more and more and here we are today. I do think that blogging was one of the things that helped me through my depression. It gave me a purpose. It helped me find my voice. It truly did change my life.
I started my blog for myself. I love writing and wanted to have the creative control to write about what I want to write about. But once I started growing I started writing to my audience. I started writing for people who needed help or advice. From beauty to college to life in general I love the fact that so many people benefit from what I have to say. It helps me more than I ever thought it would.
So blogging is a definite part of my personal growth story. Without it I don’t know if I would have the confidence I have today. I don’t know if I would be able to put myself out there and handle whatever comes my way. I have grown so much as a result of blogging that I wouldn’t want to know where my life would be without it.
However, I still dealt with anxiety. I still do. I don’t know if it will ever go away. Some people can go through their day without worrying about anything, but I worry about everything. I used to feel this need to be perfect all the time. If things weren’t perfect, they were failures. If I didn’t do something perfectly, it was nothing. I couldn’t claim anything as an achievement if it wasn’t perfect.
But over the past year I have learned to let go of that mentality. I have learned to let go of the idea that things need to be perfect. Because I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. But that does not mean that I am not good and worthy. It doesn’t mean that I am not doing a good job and giving my best. Because I know that I am.
I am human. I make mistakes. My life is sometimes a little messy. I fall short sometimes. I excel at some things and struggle with others. I get down on myself and feel bad. I have good days and I have bad days. I don’t have the answers to everything. Sometimes I don’t think I have the answer to anything. But I know that I am good enough. And everything I have gone through has helped me realize that. I am enough. I am exactly who God made me and that is something I take with me every single day. I may not be perfect, I may not always be strong, but I am enough. And that keeps me going.
Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope this help you. Please like it if it does. Let me know in the comments other post ideas you would like to see. Don’t forget to enter the giveaway! I have a post all about that. Don’t forget to follow before you leave if you have not already and I hope to see you next time!