Hey guys! Welcome back. When my parents got divorced, it wasn’t a complete shock. I had known it was coming for a while, even if they didn’t. My parents are both very stubborn people, so it took a lot for them to call it quits. But over the years of watching their constant battle, I learned a few things about life and love. From good to bad, I learned the ins and outs of having a relationship and what it means to be a good partner.
1. Love is not always enough. You can love someone, but not be right for each other. If one, or both, parties is not putting in any effort, love is not enough to keep the relationship together. Growing up I was always told that love is enough to keep a relationship going. But that’s not true. You have to have trust, respect, and passion in order to keep a relationship alive. Love can withstand a lot of things, but it can’t withstand everything.
2. You have to really know someone before you marry them. I don’t know if my parents really knew each other before they tied the knot. As I watched them growing up, it never really seemed like they did. They both had different views and wanted different things. They behaved differently and so many things were just off. I learned that to be married and be happy, you have to know the other person. You have to continue learning about them as the marriage goes on. It’s not enough to just assume you know everything about someone.
3. People don’t change. Since my parents divorce I have learned that people don’t change. It’s a bit odd because I always thought that my parents would be happier if they weren’t together. And for about six months after their divorce, that was true. But it seems the same now. People don’t change the way they act or how they do things, regardless of what is going on in their lives. They remain the same. It just happens to be that they are no longer married. My parents didn’t change.
4. Communication is the blood of relationships. One thing my parents did not have was communication. I mean they would literally go days without talking to one another and when they did it was almost never pleasant towards the end. I learned that communication is essential in relationships, but ironically, it is the biggest thing I struggle with. I never learned how to effectively communicate.
5. Marriage doesn’t mean forever, and it certainly doesn’t mean family. Growing up I always assumed that we had a family. Although I knew my parents should probably get divorced, I didn’t know if they ever would. It’s crazy to think that I once believed that my parents would be married forever. When my parents got divorced I learned that just because you get married, it doesn’t mean it will last forever. Just because your parents are married, doesn’t necessarily mean you have a family. But I will say, since my parents have divorced I have a continued feeling that I don’t have a family.
6. You are worthy of love. I never really felt loved by my parents. It was just a weird feeling I had that they really didn’t love me. I still have a hard time with that. I learned that just because someone says they love you, doesn’t mean they do. You have to show it. I learned that no matter what, I am worthy of love. I am not the product of the disaster and I was never meant to fix it.
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