Hey guys! Welcome back. Today I wanted to share something personal again. I wanted to be more vulnerable with you guys because I think that is a really powerful way to connect with you all. I wanted to share a few things that I am honestly scared to admit both to myself and other people. But I really want to be open and honest with you guys, so here are some things that I am scared to admit.
I’m afraid that I don’t deserve to be happy.
I don’t know what it is, but my entire life I have been afraid that I just don’t deserve to be happy. I have been through so much and it has caused so much heartache that I am afraid that I will never really be happy. As hard as I try and as much as I want to have happiness, it never seems to work out for me. So I worry that it may never happen and I may never truly be happy.
I’m afraid to lose control.
I like to have control over the things going on in my life. That’s why I calendar block and have to-do lists every day. I like to be in control of my time and energy because I know how valuable it is and how important it is to use it wisely. So I don’t like to lose control and I don’t like when things come up out of nowhere. But I know they happen and I have had to work on relinquishing some of that control.
I struggle with terrible money mindset issues.
Money and I don’t have the best relationship. I have struggled with money my entire life. From not having any to not knowing how to handle it in the best way, I have really not done well. I have a terrible mindset when it comes to money and I either want to spend nothing or spend it all. I have recently started learning about budgeting and working on my mindset, but it has been a process.
I have horrible anxiety.
This may come as no surprise to many of you, but I have really bad anxiety. It has worsened over the years and I struggle very deeply sometimes. And I know that depression and anxiety sometimes go hand in hand and struggling with both at the same time is never an easy thing. So I have days when I really struggle to even get out of bed and do anything at all.
I haven’t even slightly perfected the work/life balance.
I either work non-stop or work barely at all. It is a real struggle because I don’t have the balance that I want. I am working on it, but because my schedule changes so much it is really difficult to keep things consistent long enough for the to catch on. So I haven’t even begun to perfect the work/life balance and I struggle along with so many other people who ask me how I do it. The truth is, I really don’t.
I am worried other think I don’t work or do enough.
Even though I see all the things that I do every single day, most other people don’t really see that. So I worry that other people think that I am not doing enough and they don’t see my hard work. And that is very discouraging for me because I want to be recognized and valued for my efforts, but I don’t think I can be if people don’t see all that I am doing. So I just keep doing more until I am recognized the way I feel that I should be.
I worry that I am not enough.
And this, unfortunately, is the worst one of all. I am afraid that I am not enough. And for some people I am not enough. But I am learning that I can’t please everyone and if I keep trying to, I really won’t get anywhere and I will just make myself miserable. So as much as I struggle with not being enough, I just have to remind myself that I am enough and the right people will see that.
Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope you enjoyed this. Please like it if you did. If you dare, let us know in the comments if you struggle with any of these or anything that is not on the list. Don’t forget to follow before you leave if you have not already and I hope to see you next time!