By: Dani Kessel
This post is formatted to be stream-of-consciousness. I’m writing my thoughts, fears, and current life-situation as they come to me. What you’re reading is essentially a less chaotic, less anxiety-driven version of my current mentality.
Hello, lovely readers.
I know you’ve come to expect certain things of me as a part of the Love, Geeky Girl team. I usually try to provide high-quality content that has been researched and well-edited. I often interact with y’all in the comments. I typically write on topics that many people can connect with. And, you guys really seem to be enjoying the Inspiring Girls/Women series.
Sadly, for the next 10-ish days, I’m probably going to let you down.
There will be no Inspiring Girls/Women posts for a short time. My posts will probably be less researched, and more personal. And, I probably won’t be able to interact much in the comments.
My health had to take the forefront of my attention this week.
I have many chronic illnesses that leave me immunocompromised. I’ve been on self-imposed quarantine to keep me from getting COVID-19. I know that most people will be fine if they get the virus, but my body cannot fight it off effectively. I’m genuinely scared. My immune system is extremely low. I’m taking multivitamins, eating as healthy as possible, washing my hands constantly.
Unfortunately, even before the COVID-19 outbreak, I was fighting a really bad bacterial sinus infection. I put off seeing a doctor to save money. That was a REALLY bad decision on my part. I haven’t been able to get rid of it on my own. I’m constantly resting, drinking water, and doing everything I can to help heal, but it isn’t enough. It developed into a sinus infection AND an ear infection this week.
I’m sick. Woohoo!
I finally broke down and got some antibiotics. I started taking them. I know that’s what is best for my body. There is a really awful side effect of all antibiotics that I have to deal with though. No matter what antibiotics they prescribe, they cause me to have really bad anxiety, weird nightmares, and insomnia.
I’ve been fighting my brain. My anxiety has been telling me that I’m letting everyone down, that nobody likes me, that everyone secretly hates me. A lot of irrational thoughts. I couldn’t sleep at all last night because of it though. My sleep meds, PM Tylenol, and anxiety meds couldn’t counteract that shitshow that was my brain. I finally got to sleep at around 11 in the morning.
I’m kind of a mess right now.
So, I’m taking it easy until I am finished with my antibiotics and am (hopefully) not sick anymore. I’ll be in a better mental state then. I’ll be much more capable of functioning in my body. AND I’ll be better at writing articles for all you dedicated readers. I care so much about making sure you get the absolute best content I have to offer. I just need a little time to recover.
Until then, I hope you understand and are not too disappointed in me.